try this: christina aguilera (bionic) review

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First it was pure Total Request Live bubblegum. Then, dirty pop. Then back to the roaring twenties. Now, Christina Aguilera is hoping that the futuristic sound of her newest album, Bionic, will bring her a comeback.

When it comes to Aguilera's voice and versatility, I’ve always been impressed with her. Bionic is her first studio album in 4 years, and she has been working on it for quite a while, with The Neptunes, Sia, Le Tigre, M.I.A., and Ladytron to help deliver an eclectic sound. When I heard some sample tracks, I felt like when I listened to *NSYNC’s “Dirty Pop” for the first time back in the day—-kind of confused, but still interested. After a few listens, I got used to it. The album isn’t as cohesive as Stripped, but as usual, Aguilera is trying to reinvent herself. And with constant comparisons to reigning pop queen Lady Gaga, she’s got to do something to stand out.

The title track “Bionic” has some not-so inventive lyrics (“Bionic/So damn bionic/Hit you like a rocket”) but it is addicting. It kind of sounds like a mix between M.I.A. and Gwen Stefani, but more electric. I love the spelling out of “X-T-I-N-A.” “Not Myself Tonight” is the first single, and it’s a radio-friendly, Neptunes-sounding hit. The chorus especially gets pretty ridiculous, and there’s gonna be some great remixes of this one. “Woohoo” is the second single, and it’s nothing too special. Featuring Nicki Minaj, it gets super repetitive, and the rapper almost outshines Aguilera. “Elastic Love” is a hot mess, and Aguilera’s vocals are way underplayed. It sounds like some random filler track off Britney’s Blackout. People seem to love it though, so maybe it's just me. “Desnudate” is kind of awesome; it sounds like she’s having fun on this one. It’s a hard hitting bass line with a Spanish/reggaeton influence, and the only thing the chorus says is “Get naked for me.” Wow.

Glam” is totally Madonna-ed out. Aguilera herself has compared this song to “Vogue.” I dunno. There’s too many “snap” breaks for me, and it’s a little one-dimensional. “Prima Donna” gets a little more pop, and it’s a great track. Her vocals are a beast, and the familiar sound of Lil Jon takes it to a club level.

"Sex For Breakfast" is the beginning of the slower part of the album. It gets a little R&B. It's actually a very sweet song, and her voice sounds amazing. The midtempo mood continues into the piano-driven "Lift Me Up," and she kills it. One of the best tracks on the album for sure. "All I Need" is also beautiful. Co-written by Sia, an Australian jazz-influenced singer, it has winding melodies and bright instruments to complement the lyrics dedicated to Aguilera's son. The next two tracks are also written with Sia, and Aguilera's sweet-sounding voice continues through the honest "I Am" and the sad "You Lost Me." The tracks are bluesy, orchestral and soft, continually showcasing Aguilera's vocals. I'm thinking I should check out what else Sia is involved with, because I love the sound she's created for these songs.

Smash cut to: "I Hate Boys," a cute, quick anthem that throws us back into hard-hitting pop. The female empowerment continues with "My Girls," which doesn't have much going for it. "I'm not cocky/I just love myself, bitch" is how "Vanity" begins, and it comes out of nowhere with a rad electric beat. The lyrics are pretty funny. She belts out one last run, and ends the album reminding everybody "Let us not forget/Who owns the throne."

...But does she? The slower songs on Bionic are what essentially sustains the album. They are unfortunately hidden near the end. Sure, the fast-paced, FutureSex/LoveSound-ing tracks are entertaining and danceable, but it's not her sweet spot. I feel like she should have ended the 19-track album at "You Lost Me." Aguilera’s summer tour with Leona Lewis has already been postponed until 2011—not a good sign. She’s got to compete with the Rihanna/Ke$ha/Gaga fan base. With Aguilera’s long breaks in between albums, plus her mostly staying out of the media (fyi Xtina, even bad press is still press), it has not put her in the best place. What she does have is an unmistakable singing talent and a decade-long career to back her up. I'm not sure if she owns any thrones, but all in all, Bionic is fun, satisfying, and worth a listen.

try this: meat loaf (hang cool teddy bear) review

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Meat Loaf's Bat Out Of Hell is easily one of the greatest albums of all time. Jim Steinman, the songwriting genius who brought us so many of Meat's albums, has said that he stopped writing for him because his voice is gone. All I can say is that Meat is definitely hurting without Steinman, which is no surprise to anyone. Hang Cool Teddy Bear is Meat's fourth studio album without any Steinman tracks. The falling out of the duo also had to do with ongoing legal and financial disputes. On this album, Meat called Rob Cavallo to the table, the producer of Green Day's American Idiot and many other successful pop/rock albums. The problem is, Meat's sound has basically been chopped from an operatic experience into a radio-friendly pop mess. The 13 songs on Hang Cool Teddy Bear are supposed to be a wounded soldier's vision of his future lives. To supplement the album, the special edition includes some amazing (and some not so amazing) live renditions of some of his other songs.

The first track "Peace On Earth" is all over the place. Not gonna lie, it’s just not good. It already sounds under-produced. “Living On The Outside” seems to depend a lot on the backup singers. The effortless sound of Meat’s voice has slowly disappeared with age, but his vocals are still doable-- which isn’t shown on “Los Angeloser.” It has a hint of the humor Meat is known for on tracks like “Paradise,” except…there are turntable sound effects? Product placement mentions? Horrible speaking parts that belong in a rap song? A chord progression that sounds like it was done by a random pop producer (oh wait it was)? Meat! Where are the epic guitar solos and the rock opera passion? I’m starting to panic at this point. Oh, PS, this is the first single off the album. Why??? I get that you’re trying to make your music more mainstream-2010, but geez. Anyways...

If I Can’t Have You” has MORE of the horrible speaking parts, which I’m still confused by. At least there is some semblance of a solo. It builds at the end with a little duet between Meat and a female vocalist; which, so far, is the highlight of the album. “If I can’t have you/I don’t wanna be me” just…pales in comparison to the words of Meat’s classic tracks. “Love Is Not Real” has a nice riff and some killer solos, but again, kinda weak vocals and lyrics. “Next time you stab me in the back/You’d better do it to my face.” Righttt. “Like A Rose” sounds like a Beastie Boys track, and seems to be about a groupie. “She’ll kick you when you’re low/And f--k you when she’s done/The bitch is like a rose” …wow. But hey, the chorus is catchy. It’s got a little Jack Black in there too, which is cool. “Song Of Madness” is a bit slower—still not a ballad. There hasn’t been one yet. Steve Vai is amazing on guitar, though. “Did You Ever Love Somebody” makes me wish that I didn’t just wish for a ballad. Yawn city. “California Isn’t Big Enough” is surprisingly good, but the lyrics are TMI, man. "Running Away From Me" and "Let's Be In Love" can be skipped without regret.

"If It Rains" seems to capture Meat pretty well, and it's a refreshing song at this point in the album. "Elvis in Vegas" is the one track that credits Desmond Child, and you can hear it from the very first piano note. He wrote a few great tracks on Bat Out Of Hell III. This song finally gets back to epic rock, and I really wish that good old Desmond would have helped out more on this album. They saved the best for last on this one.

This has all been pretty harsh, but it's only because I love Meat Loaf and want him to return to awesomeness. I love watching his old performances, with him sweating and singing wildly on stage. I would still love to see him sing live. But without Steinman's emotionally-driven songs, he just cannot fully shine. So Meat, please try to reconcile with Steinman (or at least Child) for one more album. There's got to be enough money somewhere to buy him. After all, you sold out to AT&T for that commercial a few years back..."Paradise By The GoPhone Light"? Brutal.