try this: meat loaf (hang cool teddy bear) review

Meat Loaf's Bat Out Of Hell is easily one of the greatest albums of all time. Jim Steinman, the songwriting genius who brought us so many of Meat's albums, has said that he stopped writing for him because his voice is gone. All I can say is that Meat is definitely hurting without Steinman, which is no surprise to anyone. Hang Cool Teddy Bear is Meat's fourth studio album without any Steinman tracks. The falling out of the duo also had to do with ongoing legal and financial disputes. On this album, Meat called Rob Cavallo to the table, the producer of Green Day's American Idiot and many other successful pop/rock albums. The problem is, Meat's sound has basically been chopped from an operatic experience into a radio-friendly pop mess. The 13 songs on Hang Cool Teddy Bear are supposed to be a wounded soldier's vision of his future lives. To supplement the album, the special edition includes some amazing (and some not so amazing) live renditions of some of his other songs.

The first track "Peace On Earth" is all over the place. Not gonna lie, it’s just not good. It already sounds under-produced. “Living On The Outside” seems to depend a lot on the backup singers. The effortless sound of Meat’s voice has slowly disappeared with age, but his vocals are still doable-- which isn’t shown on “Los Angeloser.” It has a hint of the humor Meat is known for on tracks like “Paradise,” except…there are turntable sound effects? Product placement mentions? Horrible speaking parts that belong in a rap song? A chord progression that sounds like it was done by a random pop producer (oh wait it was)? Meat! Where are the epic guitar solos and the rock opera passion? I’m starting to panic at this point. Oh, PS, this is the first single off the album. Why??? I get that you’re trying to make your music more mainstream-2010, but geez. Anyways...

“If I Can’t Have You” has MORE of the horrible speaking parts, which I’m still confused by. At least there is some semblance of a solo. It builds at the end with a little duet between Meat and a female vocalist; which, so far, is the highlight of the album. “If I can’t have you/I don’t wanna be me” just…pales in comparison to the words of Meat’s classic tracks. “Love Is Not Real” has a nice riff and some killer solos, but again, kinda weak vocals and lyrics. “Next time you stab me in the back/You’d better do it to my face.” Righttt. “Like A Rose” sounds like a Beastie Boys track, and seems to be about a groupie. “She’ll kick you when you’re low/And f--k you when she’s done/The bitch is like a rose” …wow. But hey, the chorus is catchy. It’s got a little Jack Black in there too, which is cool. “Song Of Madness” is a bit slower—still not a ballad. There hasn’t been one yet. Steve Vai is amazing on guitar, though. “Did You Ever Love Somebody” makes me wish that I didn’t just wish for a ballad. Yawn city. “California Isn’t Big Enough” is surprisingly good, but the lyrics are TMI, man. "Running Away From Me" and "Let's Be In Love" can be skipped without regret.

"If It Rains" seems to capture Meat pretty well, and it's a refreshing song at this point in the album. "Elvis in Vegas" is the one track that credits Desmond Child, and you can hear it from the very first piano note. He wrote a few great tracks on Bat Out Of Hell III. This song finally gets back to epic rock, and I really wish that good old Desmond would have helped out more on this album. They saved the best for last on this one.

This has all been pretty harsh, but it's only because I love Meat Loaf and want him to return to awesomeness. I love watching his old performances, with him sweating and singing wildly on stage. I would still love to see him sing live. But without Steinman's emotionally-driven songs, he just cannot fully shine. So Meat, please try to reconcile with Steinman (or at least Child) for one more album. There's got to be enough money somewhere to buy him. After all, you sold out to AT&T for that commercial a few years back..."Paradise By The GoPhone Light"? Brutal.